home sweet san diego

today is november 25. i walked outside my house this morning at 11 am in a skirt and a polo into perfect 75 degree sunshine. i drove to ricos with the windows down and sunroof open. i ate my california burrito and went to see rent with my little brother. i've been tooting dc's horn for quite some time now, but it doesn't get much better than this.

feng shui buses, the midge is belig and other funny tales

next time i get it in my head to take a bus up and down the east coast please talk me out of it. 4 hours to new york from dc, fine. 4 hours to boston the next day after a late night...ok, we struggled but we made it. 4 hours back to new york at 11 am followed by a subway ride uptown, a subway ride back downtown, wandering through chinatown and then another four hour bus back to dc all after a ridiculous two days with my favorites...a miracle. and masochistically enough, totally worth it. highlights include: the second bar in nyc that i mysteriously can't recall, kathleen's glorious dinner and coffee and drinks just waiting for ryan, tyler and i to arrive, 4 san diegans from different colleges wandering around boston at all hours of the night, ryan being smooth with the ladies, tyler being smooth with his id (sarcasm), the nightmare that was the bus back to new york. it was like spring break in november. good thing the trip was epic because i don't think my body, mind, soul, etc can handle doing it again.


and then last weekend jonny came. it was like he read my mind...all i wanted was some quality time with a friend. did the touristy thing while we chatted about our lives, futures, thoughts. got all dressed up and went to the opera. and then the magical night of beirut. i'm not sure if it was our sweet outfits or just our mad skills but we took everyone down that night. but the best part had to be in open city at around 2 am. we saw a little person who had had one too many. and despite our own states, nell managed to coin the phrase of a lifetime: the midge is belig. i'm not sure anything will ever be that funny again.

and now, its all coming to an end. work is wrapping up, final papers are approaching and it is getting colder.

thank goodness for florence.

the games we play

last weekend i finally saw the washington i expected. and unexpectedly, it didn't faze me. we spent our days putting on smiles and making small talk with big wigs. complaining to each other about insincerity and awkwardness but turning on the charm as soon as we saw a board member. and we were good. at night we tried to erase the memory of our facades by playing a new game entirely. we smiled, strutted and performed for a different audience. laughing and flirting, we acted untouchable.

i spent sunday lost in thought as i wandered the mall on day that put san diego to shame. and i knew that beneath the mascara and lip gloss, without cover from alcohol and smoky rooms, removed from the marble edifices and famous monuments, we all want the same thing. we want to be strong. we want to hold our own in a discussion with justice breyer. we want helen bing to remember us as amazing individuals. we want to have fun. we want to dress up on halloween and dance all night. we want to laugh at the situations we get ourselves into. we want to be loved. wholly and completely and without fear of loss or hurt. we don't want to wonder about how he feels. we want to be happy with today.

and if that means pretending, then we will.