here

so from the lack of postings, one would assume that the adventures had stopped, when in reality it seems as though they've just begun. i've made it through 3+ years of college and here i am, senior year. the time when everything is "figured out" and i can just coast- wait for the pieces to just fall into place. ha!

we spend three years convincing ourselves that when senior year arrives we will be done. as freshmen, we literally wander around, not knowing where to begin. as sophomores, we think we get it. as juniors, we realize that we were wrong- we didn't get it all. and now, seniors, we finally understand what we were supposed to be doing the last three years. and we realize we only have one year left to pack it all in.

i'm not done! i'm only a senior!

i could do the past three years over again in 50 different ways. i would go abroad for longer, i would go elsewhere, i wouldn't go. i would write a thesis, i would take a drama class, i would not take econ. i would never have 9 am class, i would never have class on friday, i would take 20 units every quarter. if someone had told me as a freshman that i only had four years, i would have chosen differently. i think.

but if i had made different decisions, if i had altered this path that i've taken, where would that put me now?

and that's when the pieces finally fall into place. i am here. here is not what i expected it to be. because the here that i want now is very different from the here that i wanted three years ago. it took three years of trial and error to be here. i like here and i am staying.

at least for another year.